It's the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time.

And it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same.

It's crazy how you want to let go, but you keep holding on,

and you want to move on, but you're stuck right where you started.

When feelings come and go and you can't decide what you want.

When you have so many things to say, but you don't know where to start.

When you want them in your life so bad,

but all you can do is push them farther and farther away.

It's so hard to look back at how things used to be and look at it now

and realise that things are different, and they may never be the same again.

You tell yourself it's not worth it, but if it didn't really matter,

you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it.

Been having photoshoots since monday april 4th. There's going to be another photoshoot later since just now's photoshoot was ruined by the rain. after the rain stopped, there was no sunshine and the atmosphere just seems gloomy. I have been reaching home past 12midnight the last 3 days and mummy is not happy about it. My shoots didn't end so late, it's i myself who decided to slack outside, not really wanting to go back home as usual. Things hadn't changed since their break and it's still the same old bullshit.

the things that i hoped would change doesn't change. the things that i hoped wouldn't change, changed. ironic. i'm tired. i feel like having a drinking session later. anyone? someone? good. no one? good.