date: 8.12.2011
time: 10:23 PM
I broke out into a cold sweat this morning, vomited 2 times and had a slight fever coming through. I was glued to the bed for more than half the day, in the end still too weak to make a trip to the doctor's. I should be fine now, else I wouldn't be up typing this post away. But weirdly, I had the so called dream. The place I dream of was surprisingly in my grandma's old house. With my mum, grandma and shockingly also my dad. Everyone was laughing genuinely, no hatred, just simple and happy. There was another person inside there, holding my hand and smiling at me. True enough, that person did made me happy. I woke up and stared at the four walls of my room, and broke into tears. I miss everything back then. I wished nothing had to changed.
It is said that when one contacts a terminal illness, the first dream they have is about their happiest memory in their lives. In this dream, they will dream of a place where they were truly happy, and a person that made them happiest. Parents aren't included, rather it's either their significant other or simply the person they loved the most so far in their lives.
如果有一天，你拨打我的手机，语音告诉你我的号码成了空号， 你会不会失落，会不会想我？ 如果有一天，你的手机里，再没有我的信息，我的电话， 你会不会很难过？ 如果有一天，我们从此再也见不到了，你不会发现其实你爱我？ 如果当初我勇敢，结局是不是不一样。 如果当时你坚持，回忆会不会不这样。
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