It feels like
date: 8.17.2011
time: 4:51 AM
"why is the room spinning?" then i realised it was only me spinning. eyes that feels swollen but doesn't look swollen. random nose bleeds. feeling hungry at the most unearthly hours. vomiting continues. feeling like nothing is ever going right. sometimes it feels like i'm sick, but I don't feel sick. it feels so wrong to go to the doctor's because it feels like this whole thing is just me, like a sort of inception memory. It feels like my body might be there, but it's a dead body. I am actually not really there. Perhaps I'll die young. I always get the feeling I'd die young. Perhaps before my parents do. And then perhaps, my life is just as meaningless as it is. Sometimes I ask myself since when I had become like this, and honestly I have no answer. I thought of it, but is it what I thought it is?
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