endless
date: 2.01.2012
time: 2:30 AM
thoughts.
I'm terrified of the nightmares - things that I don't want it to happen in reality. People say that dreams are just dreams and that they aren't true. I beg to differ. Some things that happen in my dreams, happens in reality, be it shortly after or some time later. I'm not talking about those deja vu scenes. I'm talking about major-might-be hints. I think that it's because, just in case, I don't want to see what might actually happen. I don't want to know. Because of that, I created a barrier to defend myself. I can't sleep is probably just an excuse that I don't dare to sleep. I'm always trying to find things to do in the night, maybe because I know that when I leave me and my mind alone, things just goes for the worst.
It's like a mindmap tree except that there's no limit of the branches. Perhaps there is a limit, but I am nowhere near that limit.
But if I try to make myself fall asleep, I might end up seeing things I don't want to see making me wanting to jump back into reality, just to check if it's true. I would love to believe that I have some sort of psychic powers, if only those powers would make me be able to help those people I love. Instead of creating this barrier of complications within me.
nonetheless, I would still try to sleep. Thanks to this person who is trying to help me in her own ways. (: I know that it would be good for me.
Hell yeah, the dead would be walking back into my life in another 2 more weeks. Come back to me my little babies!
Not forgetting my awesome husband, Daryllllllllll. (Norman Reedus) that I just found out was featured in Lady Gaga's 'Judas' music video. Look clearly and you will spot him. In fact he is in the entire video ;) Haha, alright! Goodnight, mortals.
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