date: 5.05.2012
time: 2:05 AM
Caught between going too fast and wanting to slow down.
Wanting to see what's the outcome of it all yet afraid to see.
Wanting to speak the feelings but never wanting to come out of my shell.
Should I trust my heart or my head this time?
Am I going too fast?
Her words left me shocked.
Never would I be able to understand what she has been through. Don't we all have guns that we are unable to hand it to anyone? It's like sending yourselves to death if handed to the wrong person. I would want to remove the bullets in the guns handed to me but they won't come out. It haunts me. I would not be able to imagine the pain if I accidentally pulled the triggers.
The night of rain tonight, accompanied by storms and music is your only best friend for now. Perfect match to my mood. It had been a day filled with surprises. Some left me shocked, others just ... Certain texts left un-replied because I don't know what to say.
What do you do when you don't wish to crush the hopes of others yet it requires you to make some rather big sacrifices? Trade my heart for another liver/kidney so that I could drink/smoke more and care less? lol ~
"honestly, you'd be the last person I could think of that would trade your heart for anything else."
"lol, why?"
"because that's where YOU are, live and dominate. Without it, you lose you."
"meh. Maybe one day I will eh."
"unless you're going to give it to another person so that they will live."
"that's one huge ass sacrifice. Like drama siol."
"yeah, but I think the person will die too because your heart is too much to handle, LOLOL."
|