date: 5.19.2012
time: 3:06 AM
It seems exciting, yet I am kind of insecure about it. It seems fun, yet there's all types of possibilities that might happen. Then, I feel like if I don't keep her company, whoever those people might be, they will do things to her. Not trying to be judgemental, but there is indeed all sorts of people out there right? I feel safer for her if I am there. Even she says so. But I am not confident of whatever that might/might not happen there. Plus, I have never been to such places before. I am not quite sure how things works in there as well. All I heard of is, "what happens there, stays in there."
Too true, I am such a reserved person. Might be open mentally, but not physically. I don't like the idea of myself doing something to some person that I don't know much about, and then forget about it, which apparently is considered as 'fun', but it almost feels like I have no respect for myself. I am definitely not sure if it will happen to me but I hope not. Or at least I hope I know what I will be doing. Such things are most definitely much more genuine and enjoyable to be doing when in a relationship. #Justsaying and I like it to stay that way. It makes me realized, that especially in times like this, I wish that I wasn't single. I would really be grateful to be going with my partner and although I heard that some people don't like to be ""seriously sticking around with my lover when I want to have fun"", I would appreciate that instead. Maybe my thoughts would change as well if I became used to it, but as of right now, I am not used to it. At least to me, it's someone that you can fully trust on, someone who will be protective of you should anything happens, that someone who will be on the lookout for you. (I think? lol ~ if the person doesn't goes haywire.)
Lol, okay. Who the f worries so much over a party? Only Bernie ey. Seriously Bernie, just pack some emergencies into your bag in case of any haywire-ness, watch out for your own ass and stop whacking your brain cells over such a matter at such a timing.
i wonder, what made me into such a reserved person? well, being too serious? then so be it. it's the way i work, and better safe than sorry.
K now, go to sleep!
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