date: 5.06.2012
time: 2:59 AM
Today had been surprising, shocking but yet good. ☺
Still thinking about it. Someone please slap me, lol!
Besides that, have you ever felt like being taken for a fool?
It's like there will be this group of people who tries so hard to hide things from you, thinking that you won't know a single shit about it. When they are with you, they tell you things that they wouldn't do, and they tell you all sorts of reasons to it. So you nod, and let things be. But when they are not with you, they actually do the things that they said they wouldn't do, and I wonder what are their reasons for doing so? It's like the more they try so hard to hide things, then more it starts spilling out. Oh well.. I am no longer close with these people, so it does not give me any rights to care about what they do, which is true yet it still hurts a little to know that they were not being truthful to you. And if they weren't truthful to you, they probably weren't truthful to other people as well. I can't be the only one, am I? Because that would suck. It's like I am the only foolish looking one? Too naive?
a random thought though. all those were gifts from me. I'm sorry for choosing useless and what seems like shameless gifts to you all. there was absolutely no need to toss them away like tissue paper. i placed so much efforts into choosing each and every of them, even going to far distances just to get them. but of course, perhaps you didn't know that's why you treated them the way it is.
It makes sense. All these people. There was a reason why we couldn't make it into one another's future. I'm just curious though. Do you throw away things from people who are no longer part of your life now too? I feel dumb. I kept every single one of them. A hand-made bracelet from one of my ex-best friend. I remembered that it was her efforts and the time she spent to make that one for me. Although I no longer wore it, but I kept it. Because I love it. I kept other things that other gave me too. Their money and their considerate thoughts on if I would like them. I don't know, maybe I wasn't considerate enough? Maybe I really didn't understand those people? Hmm. Try harder in the future, I suppose.
Seeing things in black and white again. What I would do is not what others would do. Get that in, Bernie. But yeah uh, because when someone left, they are no longer important, in a way right? So the things they gave you should be insignificant as well.
Lol!! After writing so much, I still had to agree as to why they did it. haha! I'm undyingly hopeless, lol~
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