date: 6.07.2012
time: 6:23 PM
Haven't had a shut eye, been on the phone the whole night. Fixing fixing and more fixing. Stitching up the holes here and there. Don't get me wrong, I do like fixing things up. What I don't get is the contradicting points of it all.
You made the move to text someone and you get no replies. Don't want to jump to false conclusions so you just take it that your phone is faulty since it's old anyways. Sent another text hours later. And still no replies. Instead of even getting angry, felt rather worried, thinking that maybe something had happened. Learnt the truth hours later that the person finds you annoying so thus didn't reply nor picked up your calls. So, what will you do next? Not contact the person right? That kind of makes sense, no? Are you still going to go ahead and annoy the person even more? Then somehow, in the following night, the person is pissed at you for not contacting them at all.
How am I suppose to react? What am I suppose to do? Trying not to get angry unnecessarily because who likes to be blamed for something they had not done? It's not just getting blames but also unconsciously getting other people who aren't involved, involved. Shit gets deeper and bigger. So much more.
I cannot seem to understand or get along with some of these women. Not all, just some. At times, I do feel the need to hit on some words but it's never a nice thing to do or a nice thing to feel. I guess I just need to learn how to control more and learn the ways of dealing with different people. Each has their own reasons and needs.
I don't actually feel that I'm angry. It just feels more like, I can't breathe. Everything seem to be choking up my insides. Each breath I take, feels heavy.
Miss someone, but that someone is missing somebody else. So what happens next?
Or is it that I am just too weird/complicated for people to get along with?
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