Stupid body is acting up once again. Vomiting like no tomorrow. I feel awful and sick to my fucking guts. Please, make this stop. Though I feel I deserve a much needed rest, but what's rest when assignments are sitting there and just laughing at you. I cannot believe that just beginning of this year, I had all the time in the world. I could do whatever I want. Indeed, I wasted time as I wished. But most importantly, I could spent my time with the people I love or love-ed, should I say. Everything felt just like it was only yesterday. Now, I barely have enough time to rest or even be there for people. From nothing much to do everyday till working almost every minute that I could get, as long as I can function mentally. At least, I had enjoyed whatever while it lasted back then. No regrets, I suppose.

When the workload started, it took my mind off a lot of things that I did not realized that I was starting to miss lesser things. To, I guess I could say - completely nothing. Things took on a new chapter, and quite thankfully, I'm beginning to multi-task my emotions. I can only remember so well how my emotions used to affect everything that I did. Especially in school. All these pain says hello once again, but they are not going to cross this line when I'm on my tasks. Emotions, you stay right there until I let you in whenever I wish.

 As I let them in now, I snake back into this word; Love. I thought about it and all the wise women in my life. They never seemed to have luck with this beautiful word. Why so? Grandmother Wai Fong, her beloved husband died early. She was left with all that she had to carry on life to support her kids and herself. It's not easy having to adjust from being a full time housewife to a full time working mother. My aunt? She believes that fate had been in stored for her to stay single. Ever since wrong decisions were made, she wasn't able to come across any other men that she could fall for as compared to that one man. Those feelings just never happen again. My mother? Tied to a douchebag. I simply thought about it. Maybe I wouldn't have a happy ending too? And by happy ending, I mean just growing old with that partner of yours, holding hands and just enjoying the last few years of your lives. Even if bed ridden, at one point, you still have each other. Well, it's fun to think and be curious about something sometimes, especially when you can only find out the answer when that period of time arrives. (if it ever does)

 Home's wifi keeps going down these nights. Switching between 2 laptops - one with the mobile broadband, another connected to the printer. Le sigh. It can get quite messy and time wasting.. But at least it's better than doing nothing at all. I predict that at the rate that I'm going, I will not have a shuteye anytime soon.

 Gah. Feeling awful again. Lol.