These tears wouldn't stop rolling in the midst of the night.

For all that I have done and willing to do, this what I get after all these time. It sucks and it hurts. Why do I have to meet so many of these people in my life? What have I done to deserve this? From so many, I had tolerated. Whatever I had done, was not enough. Never enough for anyone. Did I really do that little? Can one not consider the restrictions I had? I'm not as free-willed as someone, not as flying rich as someone. I will try to go against the odds at times for you but not everytime. And when I do, I just don't want you to know in case one feels the guilt whatnot. Whenever one feels the guilt, nothing good ever comes out of it. And I'm the bad person here.

But. Even if nothing of that sort happens, I'm still the bad person here. I don't need to hear you comparing me to your ex girlfriend. Yeah, you are right. I will never do what she has done for you. I will never be enough for you after what she has left behind.

What do I have a father like this too? What have my mother ever done to deserve this? Why can't she meet a better man.

I don't want to see the light because everytime I do, it turns out to be fake; almost like a fake signal. Things will still be the same and therefore, they should just spare me the fake hopes. What is the point of giving me hope - only to crash it all in the end. It's ironic how each time when I know someone who seems to have take an interest for me, says how they want to rid the sadness in my eyes. Or how they feared I would leave them someday. Surprise, people! It ends up the other way round.

I want nothing more than to insert the knife into this heart. I want nothing more than to close my eyes in darkness forever because I don't wish to see what's ahead of me. What is there left to feel at all. My existence, me being your girlfriend, me being your daughter, me being a friend; whatever there is there, it didn't make a difference. You can tell me it did, but honestly, it didn't. It all points down to perhaps I was the problem. As a person, I guess I was unable to give you the basic of the basics. Hence, if I did not walked into your life, it doesn't matter at all.

So let me do something about it and that is to ensure that I will never cross paths with you ever again.
Goodbye, forever more.