What is this space for, I asked myself these days.

I've been writing on Tumblr instead. I don't know why. I like people from Tumblr. I'm well aware that my posts is going to be out on public more than here, but then, I enjoy the feeling of connecting with people from the other side of the world. We always converse through messages, writing lengthy paragraphs, almost like we are one another's sort of pen pal.

On another hand, I have my own book for my inner monstrous thoughts. Monstrous - was the kind of feedback I got from friends who stumbled upon my old blogs. Reading back those posts, I do agree with them. I have this terrifying place in my head yet on the outer appearance and the way I behave with people, it's a complete contrast. I guess, to some extend, it's like that for everyone? I might never know.

So what's this space for? Possibly an excuse for when I'm too lazy to write, I typed. But never too detailed. Because it's monstrous.

Feeling really tired lately. I would say, because of someone. But then again, it's because of myself. I could stop yet I still find myself trying, for some odd reason. I know that what she ultimately needs/wants, is not something that I can give. In fact, I can never give. Yet, I still take care of her. Which might be a mistake, because I might just make her more confuse. Or give her more reasons to demand more from me.

It's still my own doing. And I have this stupid mindset that I'm always never doing enough for the people I care about. It's like, there's so much more to be done if not for curfews and being unable to split myself into pieces because there's such a handful.



I would like my friends to know though, never take my rants too seriously. I'm one who writes in a way that I will feel better after doing so. And that I'll always be okay.