I sincerely hope, I can go far with you.
I want you. I want this relationship. I love us. Very much.

I may not have gone through many relationships but I think to a certain degree, I'm tired of short-term relations. I'm sick and tired of hearing my door open and slammed shut multiple times, and I could do is watch. We all know there's nothing much one could do when another wants to leave.

Yes. Now that I think about it, I'm really sick of that.

Life decides to give me another chance,
I shall learn from my past and not make the same mistakes again.

I'll try every chance with you.
I'll take every risk there is.
I admit that I will need a little bit of time due to my one hundred and one phobias.
But they should not stop me.
I'll take on every adventure that you wish to have, with you.
I don't want to lose anything and regret afterwards.
I'll push myself to improve. I need to improve.

Somewhere deep inside, I know that fear lingers as always it has.
That fear of losing those I love.
It may not be necessarily be walking out on me, but rather, death as well.
When death comes and touch them, it burns a hole in me.
The only comfort; they are in a better place and one day, I will get to see them again.

Honestly. I'm scared and this is not easy to admit.
I've been told; the more you are afraid to lose this person, the more you will lose this person.
Yes. I'm afraid to lose you, Rae. Terribly afraid.
You can assure me all that you could, I will still be afraid.
It will be tiring.

However, this is my job - of not letting this fear over-rule me
and destroy all that it aims to.

Only I myself can do it.