Another one of those nights where things just seem to hit you like a hurricane.
Just a few hours ago, somethings said to me led to some tears of joy.
I never thought that I'd be appreciated for all that I am so far.
It still feels so alien to me that...





I wonder if it's going to be taken away from me, as soon.
Because every time I'm happy about something I have,
or someone I'm happy with,





It will be taken away.
Almost as if it proves to me that I don't deserve any of these feelings.
And this taking away has happened so often,
that I've grew familiar with it.


But hopefully for once, I'll not be familiar with it.
I don't wish to go back.
To go back to the time when I was about to lose faith & hope.
To go back to the time when I was too tired to be fighting on my own.
Although I'd still get through the days because I know I need to,
but if the choice is mine to make,
I don't wish to go back to how it felt before
- there was a beating heart, but I wasn't alive.