Instead of rationalising, I get all emotional.
One ever once said, that it takes great patience to do that.
Would it mean that I'm losing my patience?
Or that I aren't as patient as I thought I am?

Do you feel you have to rise your voice or lose your temper just to explain your point across?
Or worst, simply cut off the subject?

As I get deeper, I get more afraid.
Yet it's surprising to see how I've cried this many times because I was afraid of losing you, of losing you to other people, of myself losing.
Each time I cried, I feel a kind of hurt.
A hurt that I thought I'd never feel this much. Maybe because I really never did.
I grew tired of hearing my mistakes or remembering what I should have done but never did, tearings fell numb in the past.

But here I am now, because of your love,
this feeling of losing have gone to a whole new level.

I find myself breaking bits & pieces of my walls,
while negative perceptions floods back up almost like trying to mend the broken walls so that I can be safe & sound in my fortress?
I feel like I'm in this complicated, contradicting and messy stage.
Quite a mockery how I thought I was capable of giving love before half a year ago.

It's interesting to see myself like that. Falling deep and getting irrational.
Let's see how far and where it would lead us to.