Where'd those cash go.

It's sad, it's horrifying, it's mean to say just how unhappy I am almost like I'm sounding selfish and I care only about myself in the world. Where did those cash go? Every single day, constant worrying about money issues. Surviving through each day, hoping I do not use more than $10 per day. Yet there's so many things I want to do for myself.

If only I had not listened to them back then and juggle with school & work, I'd be fetching a much higher salary now. I will not feel so tired as I am now because I'd be used to it. I also think I am eating too much. Food plus a few cab fares to and forth on unfortunate days whereby I am late, that's it. It'll be all gone.

People can survive with such cheap food, why can't I?

Most of all, I hate the way I am right now. I hate the amount of hate I have on myself. I hate the way I feel, how much I eat and most of the time wondering where'd most of the money go to. Constant frustrations and it's eating me up.